The other day I saw a girl wearing some of those ass-boosting workout sneakers that are so popular in advertisements lately, and her butt looked really great.

Los Angeles has some of the best and most nonsensical public signage of any place I’ve ever been. That’s because in spite of how it’s a mythical city in the American imagination a lot of it is straight-up scrubbin’ good times. The only difference is that there are so many people and places that probably [...]

>
This is a word cloud of the most frequently-occurring words in my poetry manuscript. I guess somebody likes “like” around here, and bears.

If Stevie Nicks were anything at all like public radio, I would have to give her twenty dollars right now because I have been listening to “Stand Back” all day long and I want to continue my support of this programming. But since Stevie Nicks does not accept Paypal donations (unless she does? TELL ME) [...]

Tuesday round-up:
+Living in Texas has made me a pansy-ass southpaw and it was around 43 degrees today but I was still unhappy about it. But slightly less unhappy than I might have been otherwise had I not gone to the grocery store today and seen the absolutely DECIMATED bread and milk displays, because it reminds [...]

More fake jazz.
More food that was recently food.
More jobs that don’t seem like jobs.
More art films even though that seems like a bad idea.
No more people walking around slowly and confused as if other people weren’t also trying to walk around, and I’m not just talking about tourists in Barcelona.
No more being humbled by good [...]

Wednesday Round-Up:
+Now I have my own basil plant, and also my own thyme plant. I haven’t used either of them yet because I want them to come into their own as plants before I tear off their leaves to season my food, even though my mother tells me that the best thing you could do [...]

Guess what is cheaper than a pair of Forever 21 leggings? A bag of frozen mussels. Seriously, they cost $1.99. Frozen mussels are also way better than a pair of Forever 21 leggings, for almost innumerable reasons. For one thing, they don’t pill where your inner thighs rub together, they don’t come from a secretly [...]

DEAR SPAMMERRRRZ,
I am, okay, totally not fooled. When you say that my recent post about how I got my nails painted all tangerine color and I like nails because they make me feel like a natural woman was “interesting and informative,” I am immediately on to your shit game, shit Sherlocks. Because nobody likes talking [...]

I don’t think I’ve been that much of a hater. Except for hating hippie shit, non-aspirational middle class satisfaction, super aspirational middle class striving exemplified by faux brass faucets or hand-polished marble refurbishments, calculated haircuts, poems about “the body,” the way the New Yorker now plants an umlaut over the second of two grouped vowels [...]